Tom’s
thinking about the family coming later today,
what
needs to be done before then, how much his
grandson
will have grown, as he confidently moves
forward
to change the oil in the car, fully expecting
his
automatic mind to kick in and follow through.
But
there’s only a blank!
He
can’t remember how to do it – confused
caught
off balance, a time of panic, before
the
memory’s returned and he can proceed.
Tom
doesn’t realise how easy it’s become
to
transfer repetitive, physical actions over to
the
mechanical mind – no need to stop and think
where
to reach for the salt, the bedside clock, the
breakfast
bowls, the oven cloth; no need to think
of
the correct sequence of tying a Windsor knot,
he’s done it all so often before.
As
he takes a shower, he’ll think of the shopping list.
As he cleans his teeth, he’ll
think of his credit card.
As
he washes the car, he’ll think about his, then the
neighbour’s
garden - which will make him think
of
how he likes spring, which leads onto his thinking
about the summer coming,
which leads onto…
on
and on it goes, the wandering unfocused thinking
which travels easily over
well-worn paths…
with
a start of surprise he finds he’s mowed the lawn!
Unused,
the active creative mind, tuned to play
waits
to be charged, fired up by something/anything;
be scared, be brave, adapt to
the unknown - now
reduced,
it has gone into a holding pattern, bored,
loop-taping
memories when life was new and raw
for
Tom’s mechanical mind is gaining, more and more
power
and ever-efficient it drops into a growing
archive
any automatic activities Tom’s not used
for
a while. When a “blank” happens, it will take
longer and longer before he’ll
remember again.
He’ll
worry. Believe it’s the first signs of Alzheimer’s
affecting his brain. As his
confidence weakens, his
activity will slow. He’ll rationalise it’s easier to shop
at
the local village than drive further afield – like a
self-locking
washer the mechanical mind clicks,
clicks
again, into a tighter and tighter circle
locking
his mind until Tom, like his father before him,
will feel more secure staying
at home. He’ll buy what
he needs via the phone. Fall asleep in front of t. v.
Copyright: lois.e.hunter
